If I was a rich girl...

Ever wondered why guys always seem to have the money to buy endless computer games, gaming consoles and odd gadgets that they don't actually need? I believe I have the answer.

Firstly, guys earn more than girls. It's an accepted fact, even in the modern world. My own mother once commented that my brother's choice of career was more important than mine because one day he "will be the primary breadwinner of the family". Wtf? I'm not going to be entirely dependent on my husband for money! And what if I don't get married? I'll still have to provide for myself!

Ahem. Sorry. But other than the fact that guys earn more money, girls have less money because they spend more. And I'm sure all you guys are nodding your heads and going "Exactly!", but hear me out first. Girls don't spend more because they WANT to, but because they HAVE to. I'm not talking about buying handbags or endless pairs of shoes. I mean normal, everyday expenses that guys simply don't have. Conditioner, for example. How many straight guys actually use conditioner? Maybe a few, but not many. Body lotion is another one. And don't say "Girls don't need body lotion if guys don't!". It's fine for a guy to have rough, manly, I-work-all-day-in-the-fields skin, but would you really want a girlfriend with skin like that? No, I didn't think so. Hairbrushes are another one. Maybe it's just my social circle, but most of the guys I know never brush their hair.

Then there are monthly requirements like pads and tampons. Girls have to buy them, we have no choice. And those things are expensive! A box of tampons costs as much as a bottle of cheap wine. That's part of your predrinking money gone every month. Makeup is also insanely expensive - R80 for an eyeliner?? And guys, there's a difference between "the natural look" and no makeup.

See??

When it comes down to it, maybe this is why guys are always expected to be the ones who pay for dinners out and buy presents for their girlfriends: because in the end, they usually have more money. So girls, the next time you see your boyfriend/guy friend playing the latest R700 XBox game, don't berate him for wasting his money. It's not like he has much else to spend it on :P

PS: Guys, please note that this is a tongue-in-cheek piece and not intended to offend anyone. In other words, it's a joke. Relax. :)

Oxbraaaaaai!

The Rhodes Big 5: five events that every Rhodes student has to attend at some point during their varsity career. These are:

1. Trivar
2. Oxbraai
3. Fish
4. Boatraces
5. ...I can never remember what the fifth one is. If anyone knows, please do enlighten me.

This holiday I finally managed to make arrangements to go to Oxbraai :D and it was certainly worth it. For the non-Rhodents and non-Eastern-Cape people among you, Oxbraai is essentially a massive braai that takes place in Bathurst in December every year. Students rock up, put up tents, drink way too much and just generally have an epic party. Thanks to my holiday job as an elf in a Christmas Grotto (don't ask...) I was able to fund my trip this year.

I arrived in Bathurst with my friend, K, and a group of his friends from East London. The queue of cars was scarily long but moved quickly, and before we knew it we were inside. After a couple of minutes of driving around aimlessly, we found a spot to park and set up our iconic red tent (it was iconic because the colour made it easy for us to find it again :P ). I was the only girl in a group of about four guys and so I mixed myself some Coke and vodka (om nom nom!) while they downed a few cold beers. Apparently, warm beer is the devil and they'd rather have no beer than drink it hot. To prevent such a disaster, we had about three cooler boxes filled with ice stacked in the back of the bakkie. In fact, there was barely enough room for the beer.

We found out pretty soon that the little sunshade attached to the tent was not going to be enough. As the area of shade shrank we moved closer and closer, until we were sitting with our knees touching and one guy was forced to move his chair into the actual tent. As the heat got worse we decided to take a stroll, drinks in hand. K, his friend S and I wandered among tents for a while, greeting people we knew and becoming steadily more sunburnt. Drink was flowing, there was a truck filled with foam nearby and someone was blaring music with heavy bass. It was fantastic.

During this walk I bumped into my boyfriend - who I was supposed to be sharing the back of a bakkie with (get your minds out of the gutter) - and spent most of the rest of the time with him. We also walked around for a while before stopping to chill with a friend of his. This friend had the right idea; he'd brought a gazebo, hubbly, camp chairs, a mattress AND even a couch. Yes, a proper couch that you would find in someone's living room. For a while we sat on the couch, smoking cherry-flavoured hubbly and trying not to fall asleep. After a bit more wandering we returned to doze on the mattress, half-listening to the conversations around us.

The boyfriend and myself chilling on the mattress. Our photography skills are shocking, I know.

When it became dark we went to get our food, which consisted of a slice of bread, half a potato and WAY too many slices of ox meat (incidentally, an ox is a castrated bull. Am I the only person who didn't know that??). Having now eaten too much and drunk too much, we ran around a bit more generally making nuisances of ourselves. Actually, a lot of my night was spent staring absent-mindedly into space while my boyfriend found trees to pee against. If I could, I would have done the same; the Porta-Potties provided for the girls became increasingly disgusting as the night went on. We finally fell asleep around 3am and woke up at about 5:30 to the sounds of people moving around. Like most of the others, we left Bathurst by 6 and headed to Grahamstown for Wimpy breakfast, sleep and a much-needed shower. 

While I didn't get quite as wasted as I'd thought I would, I still had an epic night. From chilling on the couch to eating plain bread rolls to getting slightly lost somewhere in the dark with the boyfriend, it was an awesome adventure. Would I go again? Definitely, but I'd do a few things differently. 1) I'd bring the Jammies girls with. 2) I'd bring a really big tent and shade cloth. 3) I'd bring a LOT more alcohol.

So...who's keen to make next Oxbraai even bigger? :D