Student (n): a young adult studying at university. Skills include drinking, occasional test-passing, dancing on bar counters, procrastination and sarcasm. Weaknesses include alcohol, loud music, junk food and a tendency to get run over while drunk.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I've always wanted to be a cult leader

For those of you who don't know me that well, I was brought up in a Christian family as a Roman Catholic. I attended church (fairly infrequently I'll admit), did my First Confession and First Communion, knew the Creed off by heart (the old one anyway) and sang along cheerfully to the hymns. Once I hit highschool I began to question religion, and by the time I started studying Philosophy at varsity I considered myself to be an agnostic theist. This means that I believe in a god, but do not believe that there is enough evidence to either prove OR disprove His/Her existence. However, I never gave up my search for spirituality and I researched Hinduism, Buddhism, the Jewish faith and many others. And then tonight, while staring at a poster on my wall, I was struck by inspiration. I have decided to create my own religion. And so, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you - for the very first time - The Church of Seuss.

Unlike many other churches, the Church of Seuss does not require its members to worship a particular god or goddess. Rather, like the Buddhists, it looks to learn a meaningful way of life from its spiritual teacher: the incredibly philosophical author Dr Seuss. You thought he was just a children's author?? Think again! There is so so so so so much that we can learn from this man. Examples include:

  • Caring for the environment (The Lorax)
  • Not being afraid to try new things (Green Eggs and Ham)
  • That any mess, no matter how big, can be fixed with a little hard work (The Cat in the Hat)
  • A little fun never hurt anyone (also The Cat in the Hat)
  • Even the smallest person can make a difference (Horton Hears a Who)
  • Being true to your word is important (also Horton Hears a Who)
I could go on for ages, but I shall move on. Our handbook shall be Oh the Places You'll Go, as this is a massively inspiring piece of literature. Extracts from its thought-provoking pages include gems such as: 
"Be sure where you step/ Step with care and great tact/ And remember that life's/ A Great Balancing Act"
"You have brains in your head/ And feet in your shoes/ You can steer yourself any direction you choose!"
"Will you succeed?/ Yes you will indeed!/ Ninety eight and three-quarter percent guaranteed!"

Seriously, who wouldn't want to be part of such a cheerful, positive and inspiring religion? We shall have religious days and practices, of course, like any good religion. Members will be expected to read and meditate on lines from Dr Seuss books every Sunday evening before the week begins. 2 March (the birthday of our great teacher) will be a religious holiday, and members will have to put their hair in odd hairstyles and wear red-and-white striped top hats. Twice a week the church will come together to eat green eggs and ham (dyed, of course) and discuss their learnings. It is, in a sense, a self-study church where members are invited to share their interpretations of any and all accepted texts (i.e. any Dr Seuss book). Members are free to pray to Dr Seuss if they so wish, although I really don't see the point in that.

Now that I've typed it all out and read over it, it really does seem like the best way forward. Seriously, what's more inspiring than your holy book having pictures of strange creatures with odd hairstyles in it? And so, with this post, I officially open the Church of Seuss. Any potential Seussians are welcome. :)

PS: I just finished exams today so this might be all my stress coming out in a bout of crazy-start-my-own-religion-slash-cult. Just a warning. :P

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