The 10 Commandments of Exams

1. Thou shalt wear only pyjamas, tracksuit pants and hoodies. Thou shalt not wear make up nor do thine hair.

2. Thou shalt stare blankly at thine notes for 10 minutes, then take a hour-long study break.

3. Thou shalt drink far too much coffee/tea/Red Bull, get high on caffeine, and pee all the time.

4. Thou shalt complain endlessly on Facebook about the impending exams and how little studying you are doing.

5. Thou shalt insist that thine study break ends at 10:30, but only return to work at 11:00.

6. Thou shalt not understand any of thine notes written during the year, and shall vow to improve thine handwriting next year.

7. Thou shalt regret all those readings that thou did not do.

8. Thou shalt be distracted by the smallest things, including the Internet, plucking thine eyebrows, painting thine nails and watching that fascinating bug on the windowsill (side note: I named him Harry).

9. Thou shalt walk out of the exam venue shaking thine head and proclaiming that thou is bound to fail.

10. Thou shalt be highly surprised when thou actually passes the exam.

The Student (Exam song)

My exam songs are usually only posted later in the exam period, but I was feeling the procrastination vibes today. This one is based on The Gambler by Kenny Rogers :)


On a warm summer's eve
In a library filled with people
I met up with a student;
We were both too tired to sleep

So we took turns in staring
At our notes in tired silence
Til boredom overtook us
And he began to speak

He said, "Dude, I've passed exams
By skipping all my classes
And stealing notes from classmates
Whene'er they turned away

So if you don't mind me saying
I can see you're sick of working.
If you let me read your Ling notes,
I can help you pass today."

So I handed him my notebook
And let him take a long look
Then he took my pencil
And asked me for some lead.

And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
Said, "If you're going to study those notes,
Then boy, you'll soon be dead.

(Chorus)


Don't need to know what you're needing
Or what you're reading,
Just know who to ask for notes,
Know who is bright.

You never start your reading
The night before you're writing
There is time to finish tomorrow;
Just go and sleep tonight."

So when he'd finished speaking
He handed back my Ling notes,
Gave back my pencil
And headed off to bed

And somewhere in the darkness
I gave up on my reading
But that final bit of advice
Bounced around my head

(Chorus)



This picture just seemed appropriate. :P

An Exam Prayer

I wish I could take credit for this, but unfortunately I simply came across it on the Interwebz. I have no idea who the author is. My own traditional exam song will follow in the coming weeks; for now, here's a prayer for exams!

As I sit me down to study
I pray to God I won't go nutty
If I should fail to learn this junk
I pray to God I will not flunk

...

Now I lay me down to rest
And pray I'll pass tomorrow's test
If I die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have to take!

The end approaches

I can't believe that I'm seriously coming to the end of my undergrad degree. Where has the time gone?? It seems like only yesterday that I was standing nervously in the registration line with my sister, staring at all these strange new people and buildings with huge, terrified eyes...and now it's three years later and I'm about to (hopefully!) graduate with my very first degree.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going anywhere; I'll still be sticking around for another two years for my postgrad degree (an LLB, for those of you who may be interested). But it won't be the same :( I'm moving out of res and into a house with two friends, I'll no longer be on house comm or hall comm, and I'll be spending much more time working and much less time partying. It's a bit of a depressing prospect. I'm going to be one of those 'old' students in the Rat, sipping my Coke and complaining about the debaucherous first years and heading home to get an early night as soon as the clock strikes 11. I'm even considering getting a cat (yes, seriously). I've had my last big night out for the year (and admittedly, I don't remember most of it) and now I have to settle down, get serious, and stick my nose in my textbooks for the next month. Fun fun fun. Not.

But despite all of this rather depressing ageing crap, I have realised that the next couple of years will be bringing not only new challenges but also new and exciting experiences (yes I'm starting to sound like a self-help book :P ). I'm going to be a friggen' postgrad! Not a newbie undergrad fighting for her first degree, but one of the self-satisfied veterans swanning around campus - no offence to my postgrad readers. :P I'll be allowed into the postgrad commons, I won't feel awkward and intimidated in the Law Library, lecturers will take me seriously...the list of privileges goes on. Sure the work might be more intense, but at least it'll be aimed towards my future career rather than vague and academic. The party-fuelled, breakfast-gossip, random-hook-up-every-Friday, no-work period of my varsity life might be slipping away, but God knows I've made the most of almost every moment I've had! Undergrad has been an epic ride but it's almost time to move on to, perhaps not greener pastures, but certainly new pastures.

And fear not, this blog shall continue! Ever entertaining, documenting the fascinating trials and tribulations of the Rhodent life, this blog has a good few years left in it yet! And if I don't get to post again before then, best of luck to every Rhodent writing exams - it's time to kick ass. :)