How to interact with your tutor

Back in 2011, when I was in second year, I had just started seeing a certain young man. He was still staying in residence, and one night he convinced me to stay over with him. Nothing R-rated happened that night (much to his chagrin, no doubt) and when I woke up the next morning, I needed the bathroom. As I had no desire to wander aimlessly around a guys' res, bumping into hungover dudes wearing nothing but towels, I convinced him to roll out of bed and show me where the bathroom was. I followed him into the corridor and moments later walked straight into my French tutor, who was emerging from a room a little way down the corridor.

Picture it: finding yourself face-to-face with your tutor, at 6am on a Saturday morning, in a guys' res, clearly wearing last night's clothes and make-up. This went beyond an awkward turtle moment; as a friend of mine used to say: "Awkward turkey - for special occasions!"

Luckily for me, I happened to know my tutor quite well as he was actually in my year and I'd partied with him and mutual friends a few times before. But when I walked into the tut the following Monday, he greeted me with a raised eyebrow and a drawn-out "Helloooooooo", and I wanted the ground to swallow me.

Now, several years later, I'm beginning to realise that interactions between tutors and their tutlings outside of the tutorial context are almost always awkward turtle moments at the very least. Since becoming a tutor, I've realised that my tutlings react to me in different ways when they happen to bump into me at Friars. Some are happy to say hi, or hug me. Some wave and smile sheepishly. Some make a point of telling me that they're "taking a night off from law!" And some, as on one memorable occasion, get a deer-in-the-headlights look on their face and bolt in terror (as if I'm going to march up to them and demand that they recite the Twelve Tables). So I decided to put together a handy guide of Do's n Don'ts for tutlings who have no idea how to react when they realise that their tutors like to have fun too.

HOW TO INTERACT WITH YOUR TUTOR
1. DON'T be afraid the greet your tutor when you see her out. I'm not a monster. I won't eat you.

2. DON'T say "I'm going to finish that assignment tomorrow morning!" That just reminds me that, at some point in the near future, I have to mark a pile of assignments. It's Friday night - I don't want to think about such things.

3. DO feel free to mention it the following week. You don't have to pretend that we didn't see each other on the Friars dance floor. But try to keep your comments appropriate. Saying "I'd never seen you in Friars before!" is fine. Saying "F**k I was so s**tfaced I barely remember seeing you!" is not.

4. DO feel free to buy your tutor shots if you feel so inclined. I won't be offended. I'm far too gracious. :P

5. DON'T think it's OK to include your tutor in everything that you do. For example, don't tell me that you don't really remember the test because you were 'really high'. I don't need to know these things.

6. DON'T be amazed if you see your tutor having a drink and dancing. I'm 22, not 52. Some of you are older than me.

And most importantly...

7. DON'T ever, ever, EVER slap your tutor on the ass if you happen to see her in Rat. Seriously. It's awkward for everyone. And I might break your wrist in response.