Morning-after woes

Punch all over the living room floor. Vomit on an armchair. A bra hanging on the back of a chair. A drunk Asian guy passed out at the front door. The distant sounds of students throwing up in bathrooms. It sounds like the opening scene to a really bad spoof of The Hangover.
Welcome to Saturday morning.

On Friday night I was invited to celebrate a friend's birthday at my boyfriend's digs. We were told there would be punch, but advised to bring our own drinks in case the punch ran out. We dressed pretty, bought some wine and headed over there. As I was sick with a cold and my boyfriend had to work the next day, we'd decided it would probably not be a wild night.When we arrived the boys (and one girl) were sitting in the living room, chattering, drinking, and generally enjoying some chilled-out vibes. A bucket of punch waited innocently on the table. We commandeered a couch, poured some drinks and settled in for what we thought would be a typical Friday night.

Fast-forward to the next morning, where the aforementioned scene exploded into my hungover brain when I dragged myself out of bed. The passed-out drunk guy had been shepherded home, but his vomit remained (all over most of the house. Including the room I'd been sleeping in). The living room floor was sticky with punch as I wandered through to the kitchen. My socks were on the couch where I'd slept for an hour after being kicked out of bed by a drunken boyfriend (I'm still not entirely sure why he kicked me out, but I managed to sneak back in after he passed out because I didn't have a blanket on the couch and it was f***ing cold). Glasses and empty bottles littered the tables and floor. I made myself some MedLemon (I have a cold) and wandered sleepily back up the corridor, where I could hear my boyfriend throwing up in the bathroom. His room smelled of vomit (to be fair, that wasn't his fault) and stale alcohol, and the bedside table was knocked over where he'd fallen out of bed at some point during the night. My bottle of wine sat unopened on the shelf.

Moral of the story? Well, I have a few.

1. Comparing your girlfriend to your ex and then telling her to get out of your bed is never a good idea. Ever.
2. If someone has already thrown up once from too much alcohol, letting him sit in your room is not recommended.
3. Once people are drunk, punch buckets should be moved to a safer place. Alternatively, make sure that the bucket has a very tight-fitting, spill-proof lid.
4. Always, always hire a maid for the morning after.

And the most important moral? (One I don't think I'll ever learn?)

IT'S NEVER JUST ONE DRINK.