"Wanted: snuggle buddy to watch movies with. Romantic interest not necessary. Body warmth and snuggling ability mandatory. Arriving with chocolate and popcorn will earn you bonus points."
This is a Gtalk status I used to post every now and then when I was single and the weather got cold. It popped into my mind while I was browsing Tumblr this evening (and trying to avoid studying for law). So many girls seem obsessed with finding their "one true love", falling in love, meeting the perfect guy, looking for love, relationships, boyfriends, and so on. While I do realise that the majority of Tumblr users are emo, boy-obsessed, hormone-ridden teenagers, it did set me thinking. So many girls between the ages of 13 and late twenties appear to have their main goal in life solely focused on finding the "perfect man/boy" (depending on age and personal preference). It's as if - as one friend recently put it - we're afraid of being alone. Or more, being single.
I know that this won't apply to every girl (and the strong/ feminist/ anti-relationship ones among you are no doubt shaking your fists at me :P ) but let's be honest: having someone to snuggle with on a cold and rainy night is awesome. And while snuggling close friends is an alternative, it's never quite as comfortable or cosy. And snuggling one's teddy is nowhere near as fun (speaking from past experiments :P).
There's a saying that claims if you chase happiness it'll elude you, but if you leave it alone it'll come to you when you least expect it. I believe the same thing about relationships. After my ex and I broke up I was determined to find someone else to snuggle on rainy nights. I went out, partied hard, met guys, hooked up. Every now and then I'd meet a guy and think "Hey, maybe he's the one!" And then the spark died, or he lost interest, or I simply didn't see him again. Then what I thought had the potential to be a great romance (or a romance, anyway) ended rather abruptly just before midyear exams, and I decided to give up. I felt offended; I hadn't even been entirely sure whether I was into this guy and he ditched me! In a fit of frustration I typed a message to a close friend, complaining that the now-ex-romantic-interest had rejected me when I wasn't even into him, and that I was giving up on relationships entirely. I blasted Avril Lavigne's "What the Hell" and sang along: "All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about if you love me, if you hate me..."
I had decided that relationships weren't worth the effort.
Fast-forward through the vac to the first Saturday night of third term. I hit Friars with friends as usual; we got drunk, we met some guys that we knew, we jammed on the dancefloor. As I was getting into the song, I looked up and saw a cute blond guy standing opposite me. He caught my eye and smiled. I had no idea who he was but hey, I'd never hooked up with a complete random before and he was cute. We ended up dancing next to each other, and somehow hooked up. We chatted. Thunda Guy took a photo of us. He walked me home and did a drunken imitation of Superman halfway up the road. I refused to have naps with him. The next day, he invited me on Facebook.
Eight months later, we're still dating :)
I don't want to say any lame cliches like "It was Fate" or "God works in mysterious ways" because I don't really believe in that kind of thing. But maybe a relationship (or a boy who wants one, anyway) is like happiness, and comes to you just when you've given up on it. Or maybe the goddess of love is just sadistic and wanted to see how I would react to a cute, slightly odd boy hitting on me when I'd sworn off relationships for the foreseeable future.
Well played, Aphrodite. I'm impressed. :P
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