Vitamin C and Panado

I have the plague, I'm sure of it. At first I suspected that it was a cold, as my throat was sore and my nose stuffy. Then I thought that maybe it had turned into a chest infection, because I can't go three minutes without coughing and had to leave a philosophy seminar after a particularly chesty attack. Now, after the travesties of Trivar, I do believe it's morphed into the Black Death.

For some inexplicable reason, the San nurse doesn't believe me.

I was tempted to question her judgement. When I arrived at the San yesterday my throat was dry and scratchy, my head felt like cotton wool and I was coughing up phlegm like some kind of horrible mucous factory (excuse the gory descriptions but the truth must be told!). She poked her instruments in my ears and in my mouth (hahahahahahaha that sounds dodgy) and then announced that I was fine. And, since it's the San, she sent me away with the usual San prescription: Vitamin C and Panado.

Come on, woman! I'm dying here! YOUR VITAMIN C WILL NOT SAVE ME! Besides, I take vitamin C most days anyway. But it seems to be a firm San belief that anything can be cured with vitamin C and Panado. Headache? Vitamin C and Panado. Bronchitis? Vitamin C and Panado. Broken neck? Vitamin C and Panado. Head fallen off? Vitamin C and Panado. And maybe some cough syrup.

To be honest, I've doubted the abilities of the San ever since I went there with a throat infection last year. I'd tossed and turned all night with a fever, and woken up the next morning with horribly swollen glands in my neck. Tired and in pain, I trusted in the nurse on duty to make me OK again. She felt around my throat, and promptly announced that my tonsils were swollen. Gee, really? That's funny, I'm pretty sure I had them removed 15 YEARS AGO. It takes great skill to find tonsils that no longer exist. Well done, San nurse. We're all very proud.
Now that I've finished my grumpy post, I'm going to go and take my vitamin C. Grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble...